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10 things you're not allowed to ban the child


As soon as the baby begins to make first steps in the vocabulary of parents appears the word "impossible". Of course, we should not allow children to always do what they want. But we must remember that very often the bans prevent the formation of personality. The child will become uptight, dependent and passive. A very interesting system of education prevalent in Japan. There are children up to 5 years does not prohibit anything, they don't know what it means "no". But when children reach 5 years of age, their life changes completely. Now they have to obey the laws of society. The child in such a system very difficult to adapt, suffering psyche. It is best to find a middle ground between "possible" and "impossible". But there are things that the child ban is not necessary.

10. To dress themselves, eat and drink

A small child is not able to serve themselves. But as soon as he's ready, he'll signal. Reaches for the spoon, a mug, try to wear tights instead of sweatshirts. Parents usually prevent early independence in such cases. Learn to eat with a spoon is not so simple. After his exploits you will have half a day to clean the kitchen. But do not hurry to take away the spoon or Cup, your child needs to learn to eat on their own. It is inevitable. Let him learn at home, but in kindergarten it won't be a problem. The same applies to clothing. Let the child try, gently help him. Tell us what he wears and why, encourage. Will let, the child has lost the desire to do something on my own.

9. To say "no"

The child usually does not perceive a full-fledged family member. His opinion is not taken into account. This is wrong. Allow your child to refuse you. He is a full member of the family, personality, he has his opinion. Well, if the child's wishes do not coincide with yours, listen to him. No need to shout, to force the child to do what you want from him. Just calmly explain why it should be done. Get used to communicate with the child on an equal footing with childhood. While it's small, but you will not notice how the baby grows up. And the ability to refuse is very useful to him in adult life.

8. To help parents

When a small child is willing to help parents in response he often hears the denial. Mom is afraid that the son or the daughter can not cope: spill, break. And generally the worse happens. Let your child help you in household chores. Otherwise, after five years will complain about children who don't help around the house. This habit is acquired early age. If, after such "assistance", you'll have to redo everything, do not be nervous. Thank the child for helping. He prides himself. Do not rush to wash the dishes or to vacuum again. Try to redo everything so as not to attract the attention of the child. Do not say that he did a bad job. Gradually the child learns to do household chores efficiently.

7. To have secrets

The child can have their secrets. As hard as you may, accept it. The baby is growing, every day he needs you less. Has his own business, friends, problems. Control, of course, is the place to be, but trust, too, need to learn. Observe personal boundaries of the child. If he trusts you, do not spoil the existing relationship between the two of you. Do not read accidentally discovered a diary, didn't dig into his phone. If the child is not sharing with you their experiences, do not read him a lecture, don't say that you should not be secrets. Remember yourself in childhood, you're also not told everything to his parents.

6. Cry

Children very often cry. All because they find it difficult to cope with their emotions. They are hard to survive failures. Forbid not to cry. Try to find out the cause and to help the child. No shame for the tears. This is especially true of boys. Never say: "You're a man, men don't cry". Otherwise, the boy could not hold back the tears, he will think that he is not a man. He will know that you are ashamed of his tears, not support, not fluff. The child is simply left alone with their troubles.

5. Ask questions

Children's questions can bring to mind any. But if you decide to have children, please explain to them how the world works. Never say that you have no time. Many adults get nervous, the parents send the child to each other. Often he does not receive a response to your question. Communicate with your child, tell us how the world works. Then the relationship between you will be warm, will form a strong bond. The child will respect you, to feel you feelings of gratitude and love, even when they grow up. If you do not know the answer to the question, do not invent stories, a child can remember and tell the other children. This can cause ridicule. Look together the answer on the Internet or encyclopedias, it will bring you closer together.

4. Wrong

Let the child make mistakes. People do not learn from the mistakes of others, and their. Your child will stay with you for life. He needs to learn to live. If you scold the child for the slightest fault, soon he won't want to do anything. All make mistakes. You still have to deal with it sooner or later. Otherwise, when your baby gets older, you will go crazy with its problems. Among adolescents and very few angels.

3. Noise

Children can't play quietly. Only in childhood can make noise on the street and at home, laugh on the street, sing songs. Forbid them to have fun, childhood goes by quickly. This period will never happen again. If you are worried about how you look around, change your point of view. Ignore the disgruntled looks and replica your address. Of course, everything should be within reason. But even in the children's Park will be dissatisfied, which interfere with your too loud kids.

2. Greedy

Do not forbid your child to be greedy. He has the full right to dispose of their belongings. In most cases, if the child does not share toys, he gets criticism. Parents say: "No need to be greedy, let play machine Pete." But it's the same thing as saying a grown man: "Again, you're greedy? Let me drive my new car stake". You don't think to ask for things from strangers. So don't force your child to share what he needs. But try to teach him to offer something in return, otherwise he will grow up selfish. Let him tell Pete that he is going to play a machine, and he can give the tractor.

1. Fear

Children are afraid of the simplest things. They can scare a stranger, an animal, an unfamiliar environment. Do not shame the child for what he is. Tell him about the object of his fear. If he's afraid of injections, explain why they do. If he's afraid of dogs, view together shows about them or read books. Especially do not need to yell at the child when he is in a stressful situation. Even if the fear seems to you insignificant, you still have to work with him. If talking does not help, then we can only wait. You also are probably afraid of injections. Although the needle many adults are shaking from fear, though not show it. When he becomes a little more Mature, many fears will disappear by themselves.

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