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10 insights on marriage from a experienced women

 

In the movies the romantic stories often look the same: shining happy couple, the flowers, the bride's white dress... But the young lovers of such stories does not always reflect on what loving each other the spouses have to face after the wedding. Marriage is not only joy, but also jointly overcome various difficulties, fighting with habit, routine. We offer you 10 of the insights of a woman who lives with her husband for 12 years.

10. The passion is

Be aware that the passion that so often show in movies is not love, but a love addiction. It implies a fixation on the object sighs, tears, crazy emotions. Some are "hooked" on the passion, like a drug, and when it passes – just don't know what to do next, and leave the boring lovers. The family is not passion, it is love, tested by time and difficulties, without hysterics and constant explanation of the relationship. Such feelings are more valuable and pleasant, but it is aware not all people: understanding usually comes with age.

9. Family life is not only joy

"Happy and long" no breaks for weekends and the lunch does not happen. Spouses who live together for a long time, you still have to deal with such problems as resentment, irritation, fatigue, illness, financial difficulties. Even those people who very much love each other, from time to time fall out, and it's absolutely fine. Do not forget to put up, not to get stuck in these everyday problems and to treat each other with care, respect and tact.

8. The husband and wife shall not differ on the social level

The unions of princes and Cinderellas are usually found only in beautiful fairy tales. In real life people who have entered into an unequal marriage, often sooner or later get divorced. First, they are drawn to each other, yielding the chemistry of passion, but then when the rose-colored glasses fall off, crawl out all the differences in education and upbringing. Many parents fill her head with romantic stories that do not tally with the real situation.

7. The couple needs to develop together

We should not think that you can stop at what has been achieved. If any of the spouses did not seek to development, the result will be sad: the one who prevents growth of the beloved, usually in the result is left. The husband, who every evening watching TV and drinking beer, the wife is only interested in kids, cleaning and cooking the ballasts, which are purposeful and interesting people dropping. Do not forbid, do not disturb your significant other to evolve and do not forget that for a long time to save can only be an interesting personality.

6. You need to accept each other

Of course, some habits of the husband or wife can be annoying, it's totally normal. In General, however, you need to completely accept your spouse, otherwise the whole family life will be filled with quarrels on the most frivolous pretexts. You will begin to find fault with the person in detail, and he very quickly wants to run away from home as far as possible. Do not try to change your mate, and as thanks she will change you for the better.

5. His wife doesn't need to dissolve completely to her husband and children

A real woman is first engaged and thereafter loved her husband and daughter. Surrender is impossible, even being very much in love. Otherwise, you can very quickly get bored with her husband, to become a burden. Don't be boring "aunt", and the brilliant Queen, and your beloved is unlikely to stare at other women. Interesting may be the person with whom you want to talk, you want to re-learn every day. Appreciate yourself and my husband will be crazy about you.

4. The husband should be fit and at the same time free

Don't be afraid that the husband ever lets you down, otherwise the fear will poison your entire life. Try to understand: every person is absolutely free. It's OK if a spouse suddenly decides to build his personal life without your participation. However, this may not happen, so do not wrap yourself and enjoy a happy family life here and now. Remember that attitude is also very important: if you think that everything will end in disaster, and it will happen.

3. Live a long time married people with a similar temperament

It is believed that opposites attract, but this statement is true not always. Couch potato is unlikely to have a happy marriage with a sociable person who is constantly striving to go somewhere. Even if the extrovert is not going to persuade the introvert to get out of the cozy nest with him last sooner or later will be jealous of mate to many friends. Of course, this does not mean that the characters of the husband and wife must be absolutely equal: some differences are smoothed out fairly easily, it would wish. However, the temperaments don't have to be exactly the opposite.

2. Your spouse may have their own aspirations and interests

And the husband and the wife shall be entitled to personal time and own space. Sometimes we need each other to relax: go fishing with friends, shopping with girlfriends, just to read or listen to music alone. Each spouse should be your money: very humbling every time to ask the second half to highlight a little on the cigarette or on the strip.

1. Decisions should be taken together

Minor everyday Affairs can not talk, but be sure to discuss any important for all members of the family of the decision, a major purchase. To make such decisions should be together, it is desirable to convene a family Council. Sometimes you have to compromise: for a relationship is common. Listen, listen to each other, and in family life, the joy will be much greater than problems.

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