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10 methods of controlling manipulators


You begin to notice that your actions began to control other people? And the question now is not about someone's super powers, and ordinary handling. People who have mastered the technique of manipulating the consciousness, or have to this unworthy matter of innate ability, we have to face a little daily. This co-worker who continually strives to shift some of their responsibilities to you. And friend, always molesting their requests, to deny who you are. And head, blocking you from overwork, while deftly shirk questions about the salary increase. Know? They are all manipulators who shamelessly use your time and strength to suit its own interests. If you want to learn how to effectively counter them, then check out our ranking of the best ways of dealing with manipulation.

10. Breaking the template

One of the most primitive ways to turn the debate in their favor is simply to knock a person off. Terrified, he loses the thread of his argument, and his companion-positioner thus doesn't need to look for a compelling counterargument. For example, during a meeting you make on the consideration of an idea, using arguments that convince the bulk of the audience that your words are reasonable. However, your opponent not being able to oppose your idea some just starts talking about something unrelated to the subject matter, thereby knocking you from the goal.

How to resist such techniques of manipulation? As breaking pattern of this spontaneous reaction is to fight it not so simple. However, it is rarely used in disputes occurring in private. To public same discussion, you can prepare in advance. To do this you need to thoroughly discuss the main points with which you will act. Thereby you will break the tactics of his opponent.

9. A counterexample

Another simple way to avoid the explanations, forcing the interlocutor to justify. For example, you ask a careless slave: Why didn't you fulfill my request? What are you busy now?. And in response to hear: I'm working! And you think I'm here sniffing roses?. A similar technique puts the questioner in an awkward position, because you have quite logically the thought occurs: Why did he think that I think ill of him?, then you are trying to steer the conversation into a joke or give ridiculous excuses for forgetting your question. And here is the manipulator have achieved their goal.

Not to fall for this trick, you need a provocative replica of the manipulator to respond briefly and positively: Yes, I think you engaged, while my order is still not fulfilled. We can continue to emphasize, and the manipulator will have to retire.

8. Override

Overriding, simple language, can be described as a banal transfer arrows at him. When the manipulator is unable to give a clear and truthful answer to the question, he did not find anything better, asks another question. For example, you caught a colleague that he is in the working time sitting in a cafe. You ask him why he did it, and he, in turn, answers:And I can't spend a few minutes to chat with the insider competitors, for our mutual benefit?. And here he is performing not as a violator of labor discipline, and as guardian for improving the efficiency of the team.

The main thing is not to allow the manipulator to turn the conversation in a convenient direction for it. You have to constantly return it to the heart of your claim that he has failed deftly with her to get out.

7. Two-part request

Please, the concept of which consists of 2 vzaimoporozhdeniya abstracts, is unconsciously perceived as causal. For example, Ivan Ivanovich, take a break and bring me tea. If you say no, referring to tea – then, in particular, refrain from any interruption.

To counter such manipulation, you need to break your answer into two conditional parts: Thank you for the opportunity to take a breath, but I am not able to do.

6. Reduction

This technique includes the acceptance of the replica of the opponent or the insertion of a positive thesis, and then follows an extreme form of denial. For example: You got prettier – I began to lose eyesight.

Why is it done? Most often, a similar technique is used for public discussions, to humiliate him or make him lose his temper.

To effectively fend off the decline, you need to have the experience of doing these discussions to be very sharp-tongued man. However, the return stroke could be quite simple: I started to lose vision., Yes, except you don't look at me in the mirror.

5. Adjustment

Technique this method of manipulation is quite simple: before you answer the question or release a replica, you need literally to relay the phrase of your opponent. When a man hears his cue, he will subconsciously assume that the authorship of the words that follow it, also belongs to him. For example: I don't want to do it, You do not want to do. However, you have no choice.

To effectively deal with the adjustments, you need to recognize them in the speech of the opponent and not let him mess with your head. Stand your thesis, yet he does not understand that these things do not apply to you.

4. Killing

For those who are at least superficially familiar with the English language, probably, is not necessary to explain that the essence of such manipulation is receiving harsh criticism not words, and his personality. For example: I think that report made a mistake – "Only a idiot like you could think. In this case, the manipulator in the beginning you are rude, then implements the minds of the audience the idea that your words are absurd.

Killing it is impossible to overcome insults in response. Because the manipulator wants to reduce the discussion to the level of a trivial altercation. To resist is stubbornly insisting on your point: Maybe I'm an idiot, but still there is error. Stand your ground and win.

3. Metafram

For this technique, characterized by the use of words constantly, never, all, etc. the essence of MetaFrame? Companion-positioner, instead of to expose your thesis or to develop a dialogue in a constructive way, begins to attack your mind, on the basis of the above words. For example: You are once again lowered it. You as always in his repertoire can't do anything well. And instead discuss a specific fact, you descend to the excuses for all the sins committed by mankind.

The most effective method of dealing with MetaFrame – urgent request to give a specific example. After that, all the manipulative design your opponent will collapse after appealing generalizations is much easier than to specify the facts supporting the truth of the words.

2. As-if frame

The essence of this method consists in order to support your request categorically confident expression and instant action. For example, a colleague asks you to do him some copies of documents and, without the approval of, throws you on the table a pile of papers. To resist this manipulation quite difficult, because there are non-verbal techniques. You already picked up the leaves, so the answer is: No! will become a cause of psychological discomfort.

The only way to counter this manipulation of physical suspension. Also you can answer to ask another question: On what basis are you giving me papers as if I already agreed?.

1. Imperative negative intentions

Separately, the imperative is not used often it is used in combination with other manipulative techniques. The goal is to make your opponent constantly making excuses, not giving him the opportunity to take the initiative in the conversation. Example: This gift is for you! – Rubber Fig?.

To prove that your intentions are not anything bad, it was a thankless job, because constantly rattling off baseless accusations is much easier than quickly finding excuses. Much better would be to translate all this into a joke, saying, of Course, but how did you know?.

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