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10 secrets how to praise your child


In the upbringing of the child, many parents make serious mistakes. Unfortunately, to become parents, nobody taught us, but because adults are acting according to the situation, allowing, for example, used profanity and physical force in response to the vagaries and foolish actions of your child.

Do this by no means impossible, remember that any contentious situation with the child solved the usual conversation with a detailed explanation why not do what affords the child.

The nuances in raising a large amount, but today we will touch on the theme of praise, and show you how to better yourself not to in situations where your son or daughter are waiting for a positive review.

10. Do not compare child with others

Compare the child with his classmates or children of your friends is a recipe for insecurity and complexes that will fully manifest in adulthood your child.

The child will be afraid to make decisions that will constantly ask for advice and feel inferior person, unable to do anything correctly. Because my mother so often told her son of a friend much smarter than her own son.

If you want happiness for your child and want to protect him from going to therapy, refrain from belittling his merits, by the praise of other children.

9. If you don't know something to praise – think

Children need attention and support, especially when they have nothing. Believe me, they, too, can lose faith and give up because of failures. To help return to children the desire to continue may your praise.

Imagine that your son failed a math test, which was diligently prepared. A bad option would be to start to abuse the child and to belittle his efforts, saying that once littered the control, so the child was prepared not necessary.

With these words, you'll bet your son any desire to continue to study the subject and try to, it would seem that his efforts are never enough.

Good option: to support the child, to say that the next time everything will work out and praise him for successes in any other case. Praise at least for the fact that he honestly admits defeat in the writing of control, because admitting a mistake is the act of an adult.

8. Praise must be honest and deserved

Children feel false, because to praise your child in situations where he understands that is not right – it is foolish and useless. After such praise, the children will simply cease to trust your opinion and emotions.

Avoid General phrases, such as: "You're done", "You did it better than anyone", especially if the child understands that it was not the best thing for which you praise him.

So praise better phrases about specific points, for example: "You are so well repelled the attack in the first half!". This will make it clear to your child that you really watched the game and can highlight a point that you like the most.

Interest of the parent in the interests of the child, sometimes the best recognition of his success.

7. Think about what you want to achieve the child

Try to identify the main purpose for which the child tried. Sometimes it is not enough to just praise the attempt, or to acknowledge achievements.

For example, the daughter learned the poem by Pushkin. Action – quoting the verse, but the goal is the beauty of performance.

Praise the child not for the fact that he remained sitting in place and remember the rhyming lines, and for the way he beautifully tells a poem can tell the intonation and gestures in certain moments, in advance, of course, noting whether the child is your advice.

6. Be specific about what you praise

We have already briefly touched on the importance of this moment earlier. Praising the child, avoid General phrases. If you just want to make a nice daughter for no reason, saying: "What you look beautiful!", the negative in this is nothing.

But if, for example, my daughter had applied make-up, you can specifically praise her work: how she is the chosen color of lipstick, how beautiful she failed the eye as neatly paint the nails.

The focus on details has always stressed our interest that internally children are very encouraged, because I feel its importance.

5. If you have already praised, don't pass this one up

In any case, don't take his words of praise back. Even if the child is messed up and upset you – take it back, does it mean to devalue the efforts of the child and their significance, focusing on the offense.

For example, you praised the son for his appreciation, and then the child could not fulfill your request, for example, not keep track of the mess in the pan, and it boiled away on the stove. You're angry and emotional abandon that child is yours no matter what is not capable, even for porridge can not keep track. This note will devalue what was said earlier praise for the high rating, because at the last words – the child is capable of nothing, that's what he'll remember.

4. Praise for the effort

If the child fails to do anything perfectly, then you can praise him for his efforts. But not the common phrase "You did everything you could," like reciting the pattern out of pity. And focus on good points.

For example, the child could not draw a still life on which he worked for. But how nice to get the shadows on the vase! And drape background is very successful.

Tell your child, then the last thing he remembers happened after the failure of the strong points of his work, not a General failure.

3. Reinforce the praise of non-verbal components

Hug or kiss your child when you praise him, it shows how much proud you are of him, I can't even contain my emotions.

Besides, psychologists recommend several times a day to hug a child even for no reason, but if you find it difficult to show feelings everyday, use non-verbal components, at least in those moments when praise of the child.

Children are very important physical contact with us, as touch – the easiest way to understand the person that we like it.

2. Do not let false promises

Making praise, do not give forecasts, the performance of which you are unsure. Mentally, of course, nobody will forbid to consider his son a great football player, and the daughter of the future ballerina of the Bolshoi theatre.

But such aloud it is better not to speak, because unconsciously it lays a burden of commitment on the shoulders. And son will play football for our own pleasure, and not to fail your expectations.

1. Don't praise for every little thing

The meaning of all is lost if this happens too often. Praise in this case is no exception, so bad idea to praise your child for the most obvious actions. "Wow, you're so great eating this sandwich!" agree, sounds ridiculous. But if every day to hear any action the rapture, it will lead to disastrous consequences.

Praise will lose all meaning, even for the victory and real achievements; child will be disappointed in the real world, when it turns out that not all people are every moment ready to sing his praises about how unusual he ties the laces.

Be sensible and right to praise their children!

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